“I Want to Celebrate and Live My Life”
Okay, so yes I picked this phrase out of a pop song that I fell in love with today (while listening to American Top 40 with Ryan Seacrest if you must know), but like I’ve always said, never underestimate the power of inspiration to crawl through the smallest cracks and make its way to you. This weekend has been quite eventful, mostly due to my current inability to be alone. Basically since I got off work on Friday until now, I’ve been running non-stop with the various adventures that I now associate with my weekends. Even with all of the emotional havoc that I’ve been trying unsuccessfully to avoid, there is at least one good aspect that has resulted from all of this. I’m getting out, socializing more than I ever did, and exploring this world of people around me that I’ve partially neglected over the past couple of years. Throughout the summer so far, I’ve probably gone out just as many times as I have in Aggieland over the past two years. As sad as it is, I’m seeing a glimpse of how my life can potentially be. Full of life. Full of celebration. And you know what? I’m only twenty years old. A few months ago, I was more excited about being able to work my butt off this summer than being able to see my friends back in Lake Charles. Last year, I had more fun completing my homework than going out to eat with my friends. What was I thinking?? I was a moron. I was insane. If it’s one thing I’ve realized over the past couple of months, it’s that I need to stay young as long as I possibly can. I need to enjoy life as long as I possibly can. So you know what? No longer do I feel guilty about actually leaving work on time instead of working over time. No longer do I feel hesitant about going out with my friends even though I know I have to wake up early the next morning. And when given a choice of doing homework by myself or with a buddy, I’ll choose the buddy every single time. Life is too short to be doing homework by yourself.
However, even with my written epiphany tonight, I still realize that I have a lot of emotional work ahead of me. After all, even though I would continue in this path even if I didn’t feel anxious all of the time, it was indeed the anxiety that pushed me this way. From going out with my friends to canoeing through thunderstorms, on weekends I never allow myself even a minute of down-time. We all know why. I’m afraid of how I will feel if left to fend for myself, if left to find some distant emotion of security in my endlessly anxious mind. In fact, because it’s Sunday evening, earlier I was thinking about just how bad the anxiety would be tomorrow simply due to the start of the work week. Inspiration found its way through again though because as I was logging in to post, I saw a comment that a fellow Aggie had written yesterday on a previous post. All of a sudden, worries went away, and all I wanted to do was post about every ounce of inspiration my mind would push out. It’s funny because sometimes, I feel that the best inspiration is just looking at how elegantly the inspiration makes its way to you. Bravo!
So, I leave you with this final note from my inspired mind. For once, I want to celebrate and live my life.
…and finally… as per a good friend’s request: BYYYYYYYYYEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!
I’m glad you’ve found yourself picking friends over work and homework. Although the latter is quite important to eventual success, what would success be if we didn’t have anyone to share it with? So how often do you usually post? Not to be a creeper, but I’ve noticed sometimes you post everyday and other times it’s every two weeks. This was a great post. It made me realize something I, myself, had begun to forget. Spending time with friends and family is what makes me truly happy, and these friendships and this happiness is what helps me realize my potential and grow as an individual while presenting me with life-long memories and enjoyable moments. No matter how I am feeling, it’s these moments that breathe life back into me after a difficult week. I wish many more of these moments to you. Thanks and gig’em
PS I listen to American Top 40 with Ryan Seacrest too! and that’s a great song!
You’re right that success wouldn’t be anything if we didn’t have anyone to share it with… but to me, success IS the people you have… more so than a job.
You know, it’s almost as if you’re reading my mind here. What you said is exactly how I feel. Being with friends and family is pretty much the only way I get my energy… ESPECIALLY after a difficult week. I’m glad I could help you remember that!
Thanks for reading
oh, and I try to post at least once a week, but my goal is to start posting more often. It all depends on my anxiety levels :-/ but hopefully this sudden rush of inspiration will stick for a while.