I’ve made up my mind. After a whole lot of unnecessary stress and anxiety, I finally decided to drop a class. And get this? I had a choice to drop an English class or an engineering class, and which one did I choose to drop? The engineering class… oh yeah. Believe it or not, this was a bigger deal to me than you would expect. See, I’ve always been the do-everything kind of guy. You know, the one who takes advantage of every single thing available. Learn as much as you can. Experience as much as you can. After all, if the opportunity is there, then why not? It’s quite difficult overcoming a core aspect of your self for the greater good, and I have definitely realized that over the past couple of days. I had a choice between educational growth… my inner core… and social growth. I chose the latter. I stepped up against the current of my academic determination and walked the other way. I’m proud of myself.

19 hours didn’t even seem that horrifying… after all, I was originally taking 20 and was even thinking about maintaining my semester job (That fell through beyond my control, actually… but perhaps for the better). Then again, I wasn’t thinking about my life. You know, the concept of actually having one. And even though I tricked my mind into thinking that I could have my cake and eat it too, that obviously ain’t happenin’. So, after careful consideration and the consultation of many friends, I have decided to drop the engineering class over the creative writing class. Let’s just say that I’m ready as I’ll ever be to venture out of my shell a little bit. In this class, I’ll be writing poetry, stories, the whole shebang. Oh, and I should mention that I have to read my works out loud to my classmates. Scary? Sure… but necessary. Necessary for my own personal growth, but also for developing skills that will help me keep a balanced life. You know, so I’m not too much of an engineer. Speaking of which, I’m the only engineer in the class…

So here I am, about to embark on my third year at Texas A&M. Let me tell you, it feels amazing to be back. Every time I leave Aggieland to go back home, I miss it the second I leave the grounds. Every time I arrive, it’s as if I’m falling in love with this place all over again.

This whole week has been consumed with various activities relating to my apartment. I have a new apartment this year that did not come with furniture like my old one did, so my new roommate and I were faced with the intimidating task of finding furniture. I must say… thank the Lord for Big Lots and Craigslist, both of which provided me with excellent furniture at a relatively cheap price. In fact, my whole bedroom set came from Big Lots and our beautiful blue couches that currently reside in my living room came from a family that advertised them over Craigslist… for a cheap price I might add. After hanging up a picture of Kyle Field in the living room yesterday, I can safely say that all of the dirty work is finished and our apartment actually looks nice… a lot nicer than mine last year, which I am very proud of.

Now, even though the anxiety somehow broke through last night, I am in good spirits and looking forward to the many experiences Aggieland has in store for me this year—including: A new Aggie Chess Club, acting as event planner for my the SPIRIT Scholars Leadership Board, a creative writing class that I’ve been really looking forward to, Engineering Projects in Community Service, and last but certainly not least, FIGHTIN’ TEXAS AGGIE FOOTBALL (which starts in precisely eight days). Perhaps more important than all of this is the various and abundant channels for me to meet new people and hopefully create some new friendships.

So now I say “Whoop!” to the new and upcoming school year, and I can only hope that I am able to thoroughly enjoy this magnificent place… because before I know it, I’ll be gone and out of here only to face the real world head on.

I’m now back in Aggieland. I’ve been as busy as I expected upon arriving here, and I wouldn’t want it any other way. I’ve already managed to acquire a crap ton of furniture, give a technical presentation to a bunch of grad students, and help Aggie freshmen move into their dorms. Still… there’s something missing. I wish I had the energy to put more thought into this, but as the clock rolls past 1:00 A.M., I cannot help but stare at the computer screen and wish that the anxiety would disappear. The fight isn’t over yet, unfortunately…

Being on your own is a scary thing… and I mean that from every angle. You’re alone, unaware, inexperienced… The funny thing is that the more you learn how to cope with your own self, the more you become surrounded by the people who you care about… and who care about you. Get over that first hump, it all gets so much easier after that, trust me.

Have you ever wondered how much your life really means? Have you ever woken up in the morning and just thought to yourself, why am I here? Why am I in this bed? In this house. In this town. Why… am… I… here? It’s something to ponder… because think about it. You might win a few football games as a kid. You might be a good pianist or make a few good grades. You might win a full ride scholarship or you may have been a national science fair winner. Big deal. Big whoop. Do those things really matter? Maybe… but how do you know? So then, I ask again… why are we here? What gives us the motivation to wake up in the morning, go to work, go to school, work our butts off only to come home with no energy to tend to the endless responsibilities that make up our stressful lives? I think I have an idea. Everything circles around how we interact with each other. The relationships we make. The stories we tell. The memories we choose to cherish, or not. Everything that matters in this world… everything that really, truly matters… is centered around the way we as human beings choose to talk and act around each other. Everything else—grades, money, scholarships, science fairs—simply falls in between the cracks where they can fit. But trust me here, the more you interact with fellow human beings, the more you put yourself out there, the larger those cracks become, and the easier those other things can fit. See, I’ve learned over the past few months that, oddly enough, it’s a lot easier to constantly worry about the future than enjoy the present, and while I, like anybody, have trouble remembering that, I am at least trying. But, in doing so, I’ve perhaps made some of the most progress that I’ve made in a good while. I’ve made more friends than I’ve ever made in this period of time. I’ve experienced new things and definitely shared an abundance of fun and sedimental memories. The thought that gets me though is how easily other things just fall into place. I bring you back to middle school. My dad started exposing me to computers. I got interested. I joined a technology class at school and loved it. I got heavily involved. Fast-forward to my sophomore year of high school. I enrolled in a computer class. My teacher asked me to videotape a series of presentations from a class called Senior Project. I watched and became enchanted. Fast-forward to my senior year of high school. I enrolled in Senior Project, built a distillation column, and designed a distillation simulator. That project was the final push that made me realize that I wanted to be a chemical engineer. Wanting to be a chemical engineer led me to Texas A&M. I’ve made so many good friends created some of the best memories at Texas A&M… and now, being an Aggie is a huge part of what makes me who I am. Why? Well maybe, just maybe, it’s all because my Dad exposed me to computers while I was young. Then again… maybe not. But don’t you see? Don’t you see how things work out like this, as if there’s something out there that’s way bigger than the money we have or the football games we win. It’s about how we interact. It’s about coming together. And, it’s about how everything always comes together… how much we can open up those cracks to let everything else fall into place.

That’s why we’re here.